College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
