He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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