On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Houston, we have a squirter
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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