Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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