Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
