It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
