You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
