There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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