Nicole vs. Life
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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