Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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