I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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