We won't sleep together?
you would pick up someone in the library
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
