do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize