How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
