This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
where are you?
Hypothermia
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
