Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
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i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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