Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
