If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
