I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize