What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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