eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
