I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
