Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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