two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
