Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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