: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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