He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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