Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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