ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
