I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
