you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
