I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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