just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
