It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize