Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Randomize
