I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
