as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
and she was petting her beer can
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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