One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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