So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize