Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
