I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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