Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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