Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
