shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
