in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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