I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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