hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
