I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
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idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
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When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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