Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
