He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
