Already got asked if we're dating
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
