DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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