if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
