Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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