IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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