I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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