That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
