Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
