I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
