where does the pee come out of this thing
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
