Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize